This is the first day of the rest of my life.

One 5.5 year old, one 2 year old and pregnant due in January, just quit my job, living in a rental house, we are pretty sure they sold and needing to move in probably 30 days.  Todd is working out of town/state for extended periods of time.

I am FINALLY going to get a shot at being the mom always I wanted to be.  I get to drop Kermit off at the bus stop and be there when he gets off.  I get to spend the day with Pink doing what ever it is we want to do.  I get a chance to blog about how wonderful they are for my own memories and make their Halloween costumes.  I’m going to get to have dinner on the table at a decent time and cook from recipes. I’m going to get to take extra time to have patience and not yell because we are in a hurry.  Clip coupons and use them. Volunteer at school and go on field trips.  Stop by and have lunch with my mom and my grandma.  Maybe spend more time doing photography if I can figure out how to afford the camera I really want.  Or learn the features and functions of the one I do have. 

I’ve never been more excited and scared to start a phase in my life.  I suppose most of it is the lack of my own paycheck.  I have always had my own money.  Todd had his.  We split the house bills and paid accordingly.  You pay this one, I’ll pay that one.  We didn’t have joint checking.  If I wanted new clothes, I didn’t have to check with Todd.  Nor did he check with me over new golf shoes.  The other always knew of the purchase, they weren’t secret, but we didn’t have to figure it in to the budget.   Now, our whole family is relying on Todd.  There is no back up option, no extra money from my job (not that there was much extra to begin with). 

The first day of the rest of my life consisted of taking Kermit to Grandma’s to get on the bus.  Getting the mail at the PO box, going to the bank and getting some groceries for Grandma. Then we went back to her house, had a roll and fixed her hair.  Then home to do a few minutes of work for Todd.  Then lunch and play time, snuggle time and almost nap time before my brothers came over.  We left to pick up Kermit then hit McDonald’s (on dad) and came home to eat and play.  They were here all afternoon.  Then dad came to get them.  Under normal circumstances, this would have never been possible.   The boys all did their homework together.  Old us would have been trying to wolf down dinner while we do homework alone and get in bed by 7:30 after getting home at about 7:15.   I love the new schedule or lack their of. 

I always felt like before I was a better mom on weekends.  Maybe all mom’s feel this way.  I had more time, more patience, more energy.  I felt like I was more fun and loving.  Now I get to be that mom, EVERY day. 

On my list of things to tackle on what I have been lovingly calling Retirement…. figuring out how to change my header.  The program I had and was using was wiped off our crappy laptop when we had to restore.  Now, I have no idea what to do with it.  But I do have all the time in the world.

Dear Kermit, Pink and Green:  I couldn’t be more happy with my decision to put you guys first in life.  I was not doing that and I’m sorry.  You suffered and I can’t go back and do it over, but I can make up for going forward.  I promise to listen to your stories more and let you take longer tubbies.  I promise to color and play play-doh.  I won’t care if we make a mess and I will wash all the bu-bu’s all the time so they are clean.  I will be the mom you deserve.

I LOVE YOU GUYS!!! 

And I love Todd, for allowing me the pleasure of raising our kiddles.

Love, Mama.

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